but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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