not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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