I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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