bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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