I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
