I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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