Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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