Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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