Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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