office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
