I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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