You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
