I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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