just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
