I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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