bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
