I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
