What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
