I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
