So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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