Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just made out with a guy for $7.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
