I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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