fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
