Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
They have beer where we have blood.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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