so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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