i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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