I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
