nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
