I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
