Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
