evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
