the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
