the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I cut my penus on the lid.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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