so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
