At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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