I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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