Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
