That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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