6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
