I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
