He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
