Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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