we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
