found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
