Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
