I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
