the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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