If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I am midnight drunk by noon
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
