I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Also, beer. Big fan.
Boobs are out for the taking
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
