the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
