That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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