omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
