Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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