He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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